Couples Therapy

Couples therapy can help when you and your partner feel stuck in the same arguments, disconnected from one another, or unsure how to move forward. Magniflora Psychotherapy offers couples therapy in Bend, Oregon, for partners navigating communication difficulties, recurring conflict, attachment patterns, unmet needs, intimacy concerns, and major life transitions.

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Same Fights Over and Over

  • How did we even get here?

  • Why is this getting worse the more we talk?

  • See, there you go again…

  • No real “repair”

  • The hurt and resentment builds

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Needs Go Unmet

  • Will I ever be heard? Understood? Seen?

  • Will I ever feel cared for, nurtured, or important?

  • Will I ever feel loved in the way I need it?

  • Things just don’t feel the same anymore since we had kids.

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Loss of Connection

  • Walls go up

  • Talking less

  • Less vulnerability

  • Less prioritization of the relationship

  • More and more stuck

Using Emotionally-Focused Therapy, we can:

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Identify the Negative Cycle

Let’s demystify your fights- you’re probably having the same two or three fights over and over again, with different words. Is there a push-pull or push-push dynamic? What are your true attachment needs?

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Learn How to Listen to Each Other

Learn how to turn towards one another in the smallest ways. Learn how to make your partner feel loved with a simple “mmhmm”. Learn how to respond with less defensiveness and more curiosity

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Get to KNOW Your Partner Again

You’ve been through a lot of life together. How has each of you changed? What are your shared and individual values? What do each of you really need from the other? We’ll work on rebuilding that foundation of friendship and admiration.

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Fight Better & Find Repair

Learn how to fight WELL and repair, leading to a deeper bond than you could have ever imagined. Voice your needs more explicitly. Learn how to love your partner better and hear their bids for that love from you.

Relationships can activate some of our deepest fears and needs. We may pursue connection when we feel uncertain, withdraw when we feel overwhelmed, or become caught in patterns that leave both partners feeling unheard and alone. Attachment-focused couples therapy helps you understand these patterns and create new ways of responding to one another.

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Discernment Counseling

Trying to decide if separation or divorce is right for you and your partner?

In couples therapy but one of you is leaning more towards divorce while the other still wants to try to make things work?

Ready to pause and reflect on the sustainability of your relationship but it feels too complicated to do it alone?

Discernment counseling can help provide the framework for navigating what can be one of the most difficult decisions you’ll ever make in your life.

The goal is NOT to solve your marital issues but to decide if the issues are solvable, which distinguishes it from couples therapy. This work is structured and short-term. You will walk away with a decision.

Sometimes one partner wants to work on the relationship while the other is considering separation or divorce. Discernment counseling offers a structured space to slow down, understand the relationship, and decide whether to pursue couples therapy, separate, or move forward in another direction.

If you’re not sure whether or not you and your partner would be good candidates for discernment counseling or couples therapy, feel free to reach out, and I will help!

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